How to Choose and Prepare Job References

How to Choose and Prepare Job ReferencesHow to Choose and Prepare Job References6Wouldnt it be wonderful if you could simply submit your resume for a job, go in for a job interview, and get hired on the spot? Unfortunately, thats not how it works. In addition to numerous rounds of job interviews, youll also need to prepare job references who can vouch for your team player mentality and your results-driven work ethic. But there are some definite job reference tips that you should be aware of. Heres what you need to know to choose and prepare job references.Get permission from your references.Before you dash off your job application with a list of names and numbers, you should speak to your references first. If its been some time since you brde worked with your previous colleague or boss, he may (or may not) remember you. Also, since asking for a reference is essentially asking for a favor, you need to give your references the option of whether or not they would like to provide one for you. By connecting with them ahead of time, youll know for sure that your references will respond should a hiring manager contact them.Vary your list of references.Lets say that you loved your last job. You got along great with your boss, and your former coworkers are some of your closest friends. While you might be tempted to list all of those people as references, its not a wise decision. Youll need to pick bosses and coworkers from various jobs youve held as your references. By limiting your reference list to just one specific job or time period, it can raise a red flag about your previous work experiences- from your in-office jobs to your work-from-home positions- and about you as a worker.Offer examples of your great work. Sure, you remember that you rocked that marketing presentation, but your former boss may not. So its a good idea to give each of your references some context with which to form their recommendations. Remind each one of the specific things that you did during your time at the company, including any and all highlights. You dont want all of your references to repeat the saatkorn information over and over, since that could potentially weaken your job application.Be prepared for non-references to be contacted.The sad truth is that a hiring manager may not stick to the sheet of references youve supplied. After all, he knows that all of these people will most likely give you a glowing recommendation. But what about that former boss you failed to mention on your reference list?During the job interviewing process, your prospective boss may do some research into former bosses or colleagues youve had whom he knows personally and reach out to those people as well. While you cant connect with every colleague and boss youve ever had, its good to keep in mind that this practice is commonly done. That way, you can be mentally prepared should your boss-to-be mention that he connected with a coworker from your past who was not on your reference list.Cho osing the job references youll submit with your application is a strategic part of the job search process. Be sure that youve communicated with your references, and prepare job references for what theyll need to say in buchen to help you secure the job you truly want.Readers, how do you prepare job references? Have you ever had a reference either help you secure a job or, worse, cost you a job? Let us know in the comments section below

5 secrets about how to win with a narcissist

5 secrets about how to win with a narcissist5 secrets about how to win with a narcissistIs that difficult someone driving you up the wall? Whats the best way to handle impossible people?Ive broken down the research on how to handlenarcissists,borderlines,psychopathsand other cluster B troublemakers, and the primary answer is always the sameRun. Get outta there. No contact.Personality disorders are leidoriously difficult to treat, cluster Bs are notoriously difficult to deal with, and youre not a therapist. (Though at this point you probably feel like a very frazzled one.)But I received a lot of responses from readers basically sayingWhat do I do if Icantleave? Is there any way to make them change?Its their boss and they need this job. Its their spouse and they have kids together. Its their best friend and they cant in good conscience abandon them.So how do you deal with a narcissist when saying MEEP-MEEP and sprinting away Road-Runner-style isnt an option?Dr. Craig Malkin is a psycho logist at Harvard Medical School and his new bookRethinking Narcissism The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Specialoffers some hope.A lot of what you know about narcissists is wrong and there are proven ways to not only deal with them but to help them get better. (Not that narcissists need to get better - hey, theyre perfect, right?)Okay, lets get to workSympathy for the devilTurns out weallhave some narcissistic traits and theyre normal, natural and, frankly, essential. Without them youd deal with crippling low self-esteem, Eeyore.Its when people go too far down the spectrum into malignant narcissism that we get the entitlement, exploitation, and other assorted nastiness narcissists are so well known for.FromRethinking Narcissism The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling SpecialWe need our grandiosity at times to feel happy and healthy. And a growing body of recent research concludes that a little narcissism, in adolescence, helps the young survive the Sturm und D rang of youth moderate teenage narcissists are less anxious and depressed and have far better relationships than their low and high narcissism peers. Likewise, corporate leaders with moderate narcissism are rated by their employees as far more effective than those with too little or too much. The difference between narcissists and the rest of us is one of degree, not kind.Extreme narcissism is a disorder, and to help those who have it we need torememberits a disorder. When people suffer from depression, anxiety or borderline personality disorder we tend to feel sympathy but with narcissism we often moralize and say theyre badeanstalt. Thats like feeling sorry for people with tuberculosis but saying those with meningitis are a bunch of jerks who had it coming.Malkin explains that narcissists werent given secure love when growing up. They werent appreciated for just being themselves they were only celebrated for what they achieved. When you cant count on empathy from those around you, you stop trusting, and you feel ashamed of your normal menschlich frailties.You stop trying to get your emotional needs met from love and instead try to be special - better than others. Better looking, more talented, smarter or more accomplished. You stop trying to soothe your insecurities by relying on people and instead turn to a fantasy self where you are superior.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new bookhere.)The childhood of a narcissist is sad and a little scary. But it also holds the secret to helping narcissists get betterHow do you fix someone who is perfect?All psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths. Psychopathscantfeel empathy.For narcissists, empathy is more like an underdeveloped muscle. Still there, but as you have probably experienced first hand, it sure doesnt get used much.You need to help them build that empathy muscle.Calling them a jerk or criticizing their behavior only makes them worse. But when they are compassionately reminded of the importance of their relationships - and how those relationships can help them achieve their goals - they can improve.FromRethinking Narcissism The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling SpecialMore than a dozen studies exploring whether or not narcissists can change have now been conducted and they all point to the same conclusion encouraging narcissists to feel more caring and compassionate reduces their narcissism If narcissists are approached in a gentler way, many seem to soften emotionally. When they feel secure love, they become more loving and more committed in return The lesson from research is that people only slide down the spectrum when theyre reminded of the importance of their relationships. Change doesnt come from telling them off for being too success-driven, ruthless, or manipulative it comes by showing them the benefits of collaboration and understanding.No, this isnt a Disney film and giving the Grinch a big hug isnt going to instantly turn him into a sweetheart. But psychologists have found success with using what are called empathy prompts.FromRethinking Narcissism The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling SpecialPrompting involves two components voicing the importance of your relationship and revealing your own feelings. Voicing the importance of your relationship generally involves making supportive statements, such as You matter so much to me or Youre important to me or I care about you a great deal. Declarations like these signal how special someone is to us. Theyre the kind of reassurance many narcissists dont even realize they miss. They nudge people toward thinking about the relationship, moving the focus from you and me to we. More importantly, they signal your willingness to offer secure love.So you might sayI consider you an important friend. Thats why I feel so sad when you dont return my calls for weeks.Mom, youre one of the most important people in my life. So when you ques tion my every move, I feel devastated, like Im a failure in your eyes.One caveat for people who have narcissistic tendencies, empathy prompts can, over time, help to reduce their bad habits. But if someone has full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder, well, the cancer has metastasized. They may be too far gone to improve without professional help.Thats sad, but it gives empathy prompts a second use theyre a good litmus test for whether theres hope for the narcy in your life.When empathy prompts are delivered properly and sincerely, without a raised voice or implied guilt trip, most people melt. If your narcy is impervious to them, they may be impervious to your help overall.FromRethinking Narcissism The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling SpecialCan your partner, friend, or relative place the relationship- in other words, place you- ahead of their coercive attempts to feel special? Can they allow your pain to touch them and say theyre sorry or comfort you or just show they understand? If they cant, you need to view their narcissism exactly as you would any addiction. The drug has taken over their livesSo how do you know if empathy prompts are working? Malkin explains that youre succeeding when your narcy responds byAffirming Youre my best friend, too. I dont want you to feel bad.Clarifying How long have you been feeling sad around me?Apologizing Im sorry- I dont want you to feel like a failure.Validating I know my sarcasm hurts you.(To learn how to deal with psychopaths and other toxic people, clickhere.)This is a great system for dealing with that self-absorbed loved one in your personal life. But you probably cant get this deep and emotionally gooey at the office.So how do you help a narcissistic boss or co-worker?The narcissist in the corner officeThe knee-jerk advice everyone gives when dealing with a workplace monster is to report them. But as experts like Stanford professorBob Suttonhave made clear over and over, that just doesnt work.A 20 08 survey of 400 people asked what their employers did when they reported being bullied.Malkinlists the results1.7% conducted a fair investigation and protected the target with punitive measures against the bully.6.2% conducted a fair investigation with punitive measures for the bully but no protection for the target.8.7% conducted an unfair investigation with no punitive measure for the bully.31% conducted an inadequate/unfair investigation with no punitive measures for the bully, but plenty for the target.12.8% did nothing or ignored the problem with no consequences for anyone, bully or target.15.7% did nothing, but retaliated against the target for reporting. Target remained employed.24% of employers did nothing, except fire the target.Long story short 70+% of the time itll be you who takes it on the chin.So reporting doesnt work and empathy prompts might be a little too personal s Can you lower your voice? Can you tell me what steps you want taken? Can you use a kinder tone?For exampleI feel unhappy the rest of the day when you criticize me in front of the entire group. Can you save your feedback for one-on-one meetings?(To learn the seven-step morning ritual that will make you happy all day, clickhere.)Alright, weve learned a lot. Lets round it up and learn how we can always feel special and not turn into a narcissist.Sum upThis is how to win with a narcissistIn your personal life, use empathy prompts Music doesnt soothe the savage beast, but reminding them about relationships and your feelings can.Use We Its just one word but its effective with narcissists. (If you cant manage to do this youre not paying attention to me. You should pay attention to me. Im really important.)Reward Good Behavior When the puppy behaves, give it a treat.Contrast good and bad behaviorNormally when Jim turns in a report late you kick him down a flight of stairs. I thought it was wonderful today when you chose to throw a stapler at him instead.Teach them their ABCs Mention your affect, their bad behavior, and the correction youd like to see. This is an advanced Jedi move. Build to this with your Sith Lord, young Padawan.Narcissists come in many flavors (grandiose, covert, communal, etc.) but they all share one thing in common they need to feel special.And, frankly, feeling specialiskinda nice. We all like to feel special. But whats the path to the healthy way of feeling special vs the narcissistic kind?Dont put up a false front. Youre human and you screw up. Thats normal and natural.Trying to seem perfect often earns you only envy.Instead, show others your true self. Warts and all. Youll look stupid sometimes. But that is when the people who truly care about you will show empathy. And youll grow closer to them, showing empathy back.Ruthlessly striving to seem special in the eyes of strangers alienates those who care about you and is the path to narcissism. If you open up and are vulnerable you can have the only kind of specialness that mattersBeing specia l to the ones you love.Join more than 320,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertThis article first appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Use This Customizable Sales Cover Letter Template to Win the Job

Use This Customizable Sales Cover Letter Template to Win the JobUse This Customizable Sales Cover Letter Template to Win the Job Writing a strong cover letter definitely increases the likelihood your sale job application will get a response.First, it tells the hiring manager youre a good communicator. You dont need to be J.K. Rowling to excel in a ausverkauf role, but you do need to be capable of expressing your ideas clearly, succinctly and compellingly.Second, it shows youre invested in the opportunity. Because online job portals make it so easy to apply, postings can get hundreds of responses. A well-written, enthusiastic cover letter separates you from all the people simply blasting their resume out.Third, it gives you the chance to add some color to your application. Maybe youre not as experienced as theyd like, or youre not familiar with the industry, or youve never used their sales tech stack before. Your cover letter helps you provide details beyond your res ume - which can often account for any missing qualifications.Convinced? Good news Its actually not that hard to write an effective, even eloquent cover letter for a sales job, provided you have the right resources.If youre applying to a conservative company or work in a formal industry (think finance, healthcare or law), include a full heading Your name and address, followed by a space, the date, followed by another space, and the company name and address.But if youre applying to a less formal place (like HubSpot ), simply write your name and email address, followed by a space, and the company name and email address.Maybe youre not sure who will be reading your cover letter. But dont write To whom it may concern, Dear hiring manager or any other generic title.With a little research , you can easily find the hiring managers name. Youll get points even if youre wrong.Lets say youre applying for the SMB Account Executive role at Joyfull. Google SMB sales manager Joyfull and see if you can find the teams leader on LinkedIn.When applying to a conservative company, write Dear Mr./Ms. Last name. When applying to a startup or relatively relaxed organization, write Dear First name Last name.Your intro paragraph should highlight why youre a great fit. Its a high-level overview, rather than a complete overview of your work history and qualifications, so keep it under four sentences.The standard cover letter opening line is something along the lines ofIm interested in becoming a sales representative on your SMB team or Im excited for the opportunity to apply for the SMB sales representative role.While these sentences might not kill your chances of getting the job, they certainly dont help. You want to bestattungs the readers attention and sell yourself from the very start.With that in mind, write a personalized, compelling line that will draw the hiring manager in and make them want to read mora.I love working with small businesses - in fact, Ive helped more than 300 in the past year at my current job - which is why Im so excited about the chance to help SMBs discover Joyfull.Every week, I write a blog post about a common SMB challenge. Helping SMBs overcome this obstacle isnt just rewarding - its also a great lead gen strategy. My passion for this type of work led me to your SMB Account Executive location.Do you know a current or former employee who speaks positively about the company? Mention that in your intro. Ideally, theyd be referring you (either by submitting your application or connecting you with the hiring manager), but if theyre not a close enough contact, you can still use their name.As a self-starter who thrives in autonomous, results-oriented environments, Im drawn to the BDR role at Red Shelf. Ive heard great things about the culture and learning opportunities from Sarah Grossman, who started as a BDR and now works on your L&D team.In this paragraph, choose a relevant work experience . What does relevant mean? Youre tryi ng to show your existing abilities and knowledge map well to the role youre applying for, so if you currently work in retail and you want to become a business development rep, you might writeAs a floor associate for Wilson & Co., I help 60-plus customers every day with questions about brands, fit, quality and more. This experience has taught me how to provide a positive customer experience and be helpful while driving sales - both skills Id use as a HubSpot BDR. Finally, its made me comfortable approaching strangers and acting as a product expert, which would be invaluable when reaching out to inbound leads.The second body paragraph follows the same structure as the first. Take another relevant work or educational experience, and connect the dots to the role youre applying for. Imagine youre currently an AE applying for a manager position . Your second section could readIn the past 16 months on the Pacific West team, Ive taken several opportunities to grow my leadership abilities. I started a mentorship program for new reps, pairing them with salespeople who have been at the company for at least two years. This program has been a huge success Half-year retention is 20 percent higher for participants versus those without mentors, and one of our junior reps even wrote a blog post about it which ended up generating 10 applicants. I also began a Wednesday night call review. Everyone is welcome - we usually get around nine people. As a sales manager, Id continue to look for ways to support, mentor and train my salespeople so they have access to the most current and useful resources possible.If you have another relevant experience, discuss it here. But dont add a third paragraph just for the sake of adding one - a shorter cover letter is better if its more relevant.Lets suppose youre applying for a sales engineer role, which is a highly technical and demanding job that likely warrants a three-paragraph cover letterAfter spending two years in customer support, Im in my element when answering product-related questions. Theres nothing I enjoy more than getting a challenging ticket I can dig into - and theres nothing more satisfying than finally solving it. As a sales engineer for HubSpot, Id get the chance to talk to customers about the product on a daily grund and answer their most complex questions. In addition, I could use the communication skills Ive honed as a support rep.This section doesnt need to be long or flowery. Many people end with unnecessary statements like, Please let me know if I can provide any more information or Thank you for your consideration. The problem with these? A hiring manager can safely assume youll give more info if asked and are appreciative of their time. Youll seem like every other applicant whos grabbed a generic template from the internet (which, okay, you might be doing, but they dont need to know that.)Instead, reiterate your interest with a strong summary line likeThe best days at work are usually t he longest and most demanding - because I go home knowing Ive helped multiple owners dramatically change the course of their businesses. Your hyper-loyal user base suggests being a Joyfull AE comes with even more opportunities to help young and growing organizations.Im passionate about helping X type of customer, solving Y goal, working in Z industry - which is how I found the open position at company name. The more I learned about companys mission to insert mission here, i.e. improve the remote working experience, make personal finance easy), the more excited I became. My applicable skill 1 and applicable skill 2 , as well as experience in field and knowledge of related topic, would make me an asset to the department, i.e. Customer Development team.As a title at current employer or skill, Im responsible for doing X and Y. This has helped me develop ability -- in fact, insert proof of your skill, e.g. my boss recently said I was one of the most resourceful employees hes ever had o r Im known for my ability to stay collected and take the lead during high-pressure situations. Id use X skill as your job title to achieve main objective.Im also skilled in X/possess Y and Z positive traits, which comes from my previous work or extracurricular experience. In that role, on that team, I developed a knack for skill/traits. This was instrumental in hitting specific milestone/exceeding expectations. Youre looking for someone with X skill/character traits, and I believe Im a good fit.Over the past number of years, company has accomplished X goal, such as become a leader in the CRM space or used creative marketing and social media campaigns to become a household name in Colorado. It looks like you have ambitious goals for the future - I hope I get the opportunity to contribute.This article was originally published on HubSpot . It is reprinted with permission.